More Than Breathing
by Takaratoast
Summary: Izaya is only with Shizuo to gain his trust and one day kill him. But what happens when Shizuo actually gets hurt and Izaya realizes the extent of Shizuo's love for him? Shizaya, rating will go up later on for mature content, tragedy.
1. Chapter 1 Hate

**Story:** More Than Breathing

**Author:** Takaratoast + Aya-sama

**Chapter One:** Hate

**Pairing:** ShizuoxIzaya

**Warning:** This story contains malexmale relationships. Don't like, don't read.

**Disclaimer:** I own none of these characters

**Authors note:** _This fan fiction was originally a role play written by myself and Aya-sama~ I played Izaya and she played Shizuo. The fiction version has been completely rewritten by myself, but Aya still deserves lots and lots of credit for the story~ Thank you for reading!_

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More Than Breathing

Izaya Orihara sat in the lap of Shizuo Heiwajima, the one man that he hated most, and the one that he had captured in a passionate lip-lock. He felt the other smile into their kiss, to which he gladly deepened in response. Though the situation of their relationship had obviously changed greatly, as they were now officially what you would call a "couple", the two continued their constant fights. Of course this arrangement was set up by none other than Izaya. Despite what he had fooled Shizuo, and the rest of Ikebukuro, into believing, Izaya still hated Shizuo with a fiery passion. The "love" that he showed to the other was nothing more than a ploy to gain the others trust, keep your friends close and your enemies closer as they say. Of course he still planned on killing Shizuo. However, when plan after plan to end the brutes life had failed, he turned to this plan. It was a sort of last resort, when he was tired of conjuring up new ways to kill him, with no real assurance of success.

Of course, Shizuo had no idea of what the cunning informant was planning, Izaya's acting skills were quite creditable, and he was sure to never break the character of a man in love. The kissed, they made love, they whispered sweet nothings to each other, though these mostly came from Shizuo, they went on dates, held hands, the only thing abnormal about their relationship was their continuous fighting. The continuation of their little game around Ikebukuro was mutually decided, Shizuo had said that it would be too weird to not continue fighting, and besides, it would often lead to a different sort of game.

He slid his hand up into Shizuo's hair, lacing his fingers through the mans golden locks. He slowly felt himself began to slip away, losing himself to the kiss, finding it almost hard to control his senses the way that the other kissed him. Strangely, it didn't bother Izaya knowing that Shizuo loved him, nor did it irk him to know that ever action he made in lust the other made in love. Actually it amused him; he almost enjoyed seeing the monster fall victim to such a tedious emotion as love. He suddenly felt sharp teeth biting down on his lip, breaking the skin and causing it to drip blood. The raven flinched a bit at the sudden acute pain to the soft flesh of his lips. Shizuo promptly licked up any blood that had escaped the small wound he had caused, grinning as he pulled back.

"You're skin is so sensitive flea," Shizuo teased, voice breathless from the intense kiss they had shared.

He smirked as he felt Shizuo pull him closer, leaning in towards the man. "Because unlike you, Shizu-chan. I've only rarely been touched in a fight. You on the other hand, seem to always be at the mercies of my blade." Izaya chuckled, referring to his trademark switchblade. He looked at the man, so close to him, his eyes flashing with memories of their previous fights. Izaya usually got away without a bruise, only a few hairs out of place from dodging random flying objects. Shizuo of course had always come out with cuts all across his body, never leaving a fight without some sort of blood loss, but always coming out alive nonetheless. And that was Izaya's problem. It almost seemed as if he _couldn't_ kill Shizuo. He had gotten close quite a few times, but he could never seriously injure Shizuo, much less kill him, while still making it look as if it was an accident.

As the memories faded he noticed Shizuo's tongue sticking defiantly out of his mouth at Izaya. "Well unlike you, I've never had my ass penetrated by my sexy boyfriend's huge dick. I wonder why that is, my dear _uke_." He laughed loudly, earning a slight glare from Izaya, and a quick retort. "If we're bringing sex into this then at least I can go a few days without losing control of myself and practically raping my boyfriend." A smirk cued his next sentence. "Not that I really mind of course."

"Oh of course you don't, after all, you're the one who's always begging for it. 'Harder Shizu-sama~ Make me feel good~' You're always such a slut. Only for me though." He gave Izaya a quick wink and another short kiss. "At least it better be only for me~" Izaya only grinned and leaned forward to kiss the man again, bringing his fingers up to run through Shizuo's blonde hair, twirling some of it around his finger once he pulled back.

"For the record, I sound absolutely nothing like that~." Another soft kiss, each of them grinning as they teased each other. "And of course all this," he pulled back, motioning to his body while rolling it slightly, emitting a laugh from Shizuo. "It is only for you~" He hummed lightly as he moved so that his arms were wrapped around the blondes neck. Shizuo slid his tongue over Izaya's lips in response, to which the informant closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of the others soft tongue on his lips.

"Hmm~" He hummed. He didn't _like_ Shizuo, but that didn't mean that he wasn't phenomenal in bed, and an amazing kisser. For a whiled he had tried to ignore these traits of Shizuo, tried to pretend it wasn't true. Though, after a few months of feeling that sinful tongue brushing perfectly against his, and was literally fucked senseless out of pure, intoxicating, pleasure a few times, he decided to admit these facts himself. Yes, Shizuo Heiwajima _was_ the best lay he had ever had in his life, and most likely the best you could get in the entire city, but that didn't mean he loved Shizuo. Not at all. It just happened to be the one thing about the brute that he would miss... after he killed him of course.

"But that is how you sound, flea~" The sound of Shizuo's voice brought him back to reality. "Or when we're fighting.. You know you get off on that. You're really just a masochist." Izaya rolled his eyes and planted his hands on Shizuo's shoulders, tapping his fingers on them. "My love for our fights has nothing to do with that Shizu-chan. And besides~, he smirked, "If I really was a masochist, I'd let you hit me more often~"

He leaned forward to kiss Shizuo again, his lips brushing against the others again and again before he pulled back only barely enough to break their lip-lock. "Can't I just love the thrill of fighting~?" He asked in a somewhat seductive tone. "I don't have to hold back with you either~ I trust you not to die, so I can fight you with everything I've got, without worrying about killing anyone" he lied. A soft chuckle escaped his lips as he hovered closer to Shizuo again. "Though, I'm not saying it doesn't turn me on at all~"

"Oh? So you're admitting that it turns you on then?" The blonde let out a chuckle as he raised an eyebrow at Izaya. "I wonder if you only ever dodge, because the sight of me throwing things at you, is just too much for you~" Izaya grinned as he leaned in for another kiss. "Hmm I wonder~"

The raven trapped Shizuo in a deep kiss, one hand moving down to his pocket to wrap his fingers around his pocket knife. He hoped that the kiss was distracting enough as he stretched his arms out past Shizuo's shoulders. The blade flicked open behind Shizuo's back. Slowly, Izaya brought the weapon up to Shizuo's neck, pressing the dull end of the blade against his loose skin, the point of the small knife drawing a small amount of blood from the blonde's neck.

He smirked as he felt Shizuo pull out of the kiss, a grin on the man's face. "Hmm~" Izaya hummed. "I love you Shizu-chan~" Shizuo chuckled lightly, in a split second he had grabbed Izaya's hand and twisted his arm around, pushing Izaya off of him into a standing position, and turning him around so that his knife hand was behind his back. In another second he had jumped over the bench they had previously been sitting on, his hand clutching a sign post that read "PED X-ING," and was ripping it out of the ground, a smug grin on his face as he said his final words before battle.

"Hate you too flea~."

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_Whaa~~ So this was an Amazing rp I did with Aya, we started it in late Nov 2011 and finished in late January 2012~ Its not all that long, the fiction will be about chapters. It's completely written out already in rp format, I just have to rewrite it like this... but this first part of it has taken me about three and a half months to complete... so I don't know how fast this will update... ;n; gomen... I promise that this one will be 10000000000x better than the To Find The Things Not Spoken~! Review PLEASE~~~ _


	2. Chapter 2 Hurt

Story: More Than Breathing

Author: Takaratoast

Chapter Two: Hurt

Pairing: ShizuoxIzaya

Warning: This story contains malexmale relationships. Don't like, don't read.

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters

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The "flea" smirked and jumped in front of the bench that the two were on just moments ago. Finally, what he had waited for.

"Now lets see if you can actually make me bleed this time Shizu-chan~" His name had been said with an extra teasingly sweet tone. "I'm beginning to think that you're losing your touch!"

With that the raven raced forward and aimed a shallow slash at his "lover's" chest. The ex-bartender backed up suddenly, swinging his sign towards Izaya, hitting him hard across his left side, most probably leaving a dark bruise.

"Yeah right, louse! I'd think you were the one losing your '_touch_'." He grinned at Izaya and shot him a playful wink. Honestly, the brute hardly ever took their fights seriously. It was more like play time to Shizuo, while Izaya was seriously trying to kill Shizuo, not that the blond knew of course. Because of this Shizuo only rarely hit him with anything, letting this sudden hit take Izaya by surprise.

Izaya cursed under his breath as he recovered to his feet, one hand on his side, rubbing the area where the sign had made contact with him. It hurt, but not nearly as bad as it could have; this told Izaya that Shizuo was holding back once again.

"Really Shizu-chan~?" He taunted, "That hit was hardly half strength." He let out a sort of snicker. "We both know you can do better than that~."

In a spit second Izaya released a knife towards Shizuo; the blade sped towards the left side of Shizuo's chest, a vital area, but easy to dodge. Izaya had thrown countless like it before, always pleading that it would hit, and that the knife would penetrate his heart, finally ending the brutes life. Though each time had obviously been unsuccessful. Anticipating Shizuo to dodge again, Izaya ran up to him for close combat, a second knife in his hand to aim a second slash at the blond's chest.

Shizuo laughed, already foreseeing the ravens second attack. Honestly, if Izaya used the same tricks every time, how could he expect them to actually work? An easy dodge, all it took was two steps to the right and a slight lean in the same direction. Then he'd be able to force Izaya to drop his knife and he'd pin him. The fight would be over in only a few minutes.

But... that wasn't what was happening.

Shizuo's laughter caught in his throat as he fell to his knees, a sharp pain that he couldn't quite comprehend emanating from his chest... and another, on his neck?

_'Whats... going on?' _ He thought to himself as he looked up at Izaya who was so suddenly above him, and becoming... blurry?

Izaya saw it happen almost as if in slow motion. The knife hit Shizuo, his second blow missing the blond's chest as he originally planed and instead slicing deep across his neck due to the way that he had fallen. His eyes widened instantly.

_'It worked...?'_

_'It hit...?'_

_'I... I've won?'_

A flood of emotions washed over Izaya in the milliseconds before Shizuo's knees hit the ground. Glee. Victory. Pride. Disbelief. Confusion. Hate. All of which he had expected to feel when he finally killed Shizuo. However... deep within his heart was something unexpected.

Regret.

Regret for what though? For killing him? No... This is what he had planned his entire life around for months; what he was looking forward to and dreaming about since he had first met Shizuo. There was no way he could regret what he had just done. And yet, when he looked down at Shizuo, whose eyes were locked on the raven, confusion and pain dancing in their amber orbs, a stab of pain hit his chest.

"Shizu-chan...?" He asked, as if he had suddenly expected him to say that he was okay, and was only messing with Izaya.

But he didn't.

Izaya took a deep breath. He didn't regret this. In fact, he loved it. This would be the last time he would ever have to play the disgusting role of Shizuo's lover.

He let tears collect in his eyes as Izaya let his knife drop from his hands and reached out to catch the man, telling himself that the tears were completely and one hundred percent staged.

He lowered his voice to a whisper, letting it quiver as if he were utterly terrified, and let a few tears begin to stream out of his eyes.

"Sh-Shizu-chan!"

Shizuo looked up at Izaya from his place in the other's arms. His eyes were slightly closing as he was beginning to feel increasingly tired.

"Flea...?" He started, his voice so hoarse it was almost as if he were merely mouthing the words. "Why... are you crying?" A weak smile appeared on his face; though, to him he was grinning widely at Izaya, his words sounding as they usually did, his eyes wide at the sight of his love's tears.

"Can we.. just go home..?" He asked him, the question followed by a cough, the blond man completely unaware of the taste of his own blood in his mouth. "I... don't feel so hot.. And... I'm tired... can we... take a nap... or something?" He continued with a weak chuckle; the laugh only causing the wound from his neck to bleed all the more.

Izaya shook his head as he let more tears fall.

_'Don't break character... plead to him... be desperate... you're supposed to be madly in love with this man...'_

He shook his head desperately. "N-no, Shizu-chan... d-don't go to sleep... stay awake... please Shizu-chan... you have to..."

Shizuo nodded weakly, wincing a bit as the action seemed to irritate his wound. "Izaya...? Why? Are you still crying...? Did I do something wrong...?" His tired, dimming eyes somehow still managed to shine with a kind of love that Izaya knew he could never understand. Shizuo weakly lifted a hand up to Izaya's cheek, his fingertips growing cold against Izaya's skin.

"I'm sorry Izaya..." he said with that same weak smile and look of absolute adoration in his eyes. "I lied to you... I don't hate you okay? I love you... So if that's what it was... I'm sorry..."

That odd feeling of regret seemed to be amplified at Shizuo's words... now somehow accompanied by something like... sadness? Fear? Izaya shook his head, he didn't want to think about it, he had other things to think about.

"Shi-Shizu-chan... I-.. I love you too Shizuo..." He shook his head as he tightened his hold on Shizuo. "D-don't you realize it Shizuo? I... I hit you, you couldn't dodge it... Oh god Shizuo please don't die on me... Don't leave me alone..." He lowered his head a bit, letting salty tears mix with the blood that was pouring out of Shizuo's chest, and hating that he was letting himself look so... weak in front of another person... but then, Shizuo was a dead man after all.

Eventually he would need to call an ambulance or something of the like... But... if he wanted to be sure Shizuo died, it would be wise to wait. He raised his head a bit to look Shizuo over, his face was growing pale, and his body cold as he was obviously losing a lot of blood. Izaya's hands were itching to call early, a part of him yearning to save him.

But why?

He had planned this from the start... He shouldn't let his emotions in the heat of everything ruin it for him... And yet...

"I'm going to call the ambulance..." He moved down to give Shizuo a light kiss on the lips. "You're gonna be okay... I promise.." He whispered to Shizuo.

"I-.. Idiot.." Shizuo said weakly. "Of course... I dodged it..." Shizuo's breath was becoming softer and softer. "I'm just... a bit... tired is all.." He said as his voice was beginning to hush, along with the sound of his breath. Izaya shook his head as he stood up and took a few steps away from Shizuo to dial the ambulance. He quickly gave a vague explanation of the situation and their location, closing his phone then kneeling beside Shizuo again.

"Stay with me," he whispered to the blond as he reached out to take one of his cold hands.

Shizuo offered a weak grip on to the hand, confusion taking over his features, as suddenly he couldn't see Izaya... his vision similar to as if something was covering his eyes. He didn't realize though that his eyes were closed, his body too numb from shock and pain to process this. "Izaya... did... did you cover my eyes ... or something?" He asked, though it was nearly a miracle that he was still able to talk.

Izaya simply shook his head, letting a tear fall on to Shizuo's face. He was becoming less and less sure of what to do, and how he felt in this situation. It was nothing like he had pictured it.

This was supposed to be his moment of victory. But instead he was... regretting going after this man, regretting ever resenting him. Shizuo continued asking him pointless questions. "Why are you so warm all of the sudden?" "Why does my chest feel so strange?" Each one making it more and more obvious that Shizuo was entirely unaware of his condition, and each one leaving Izaya speechless.

He wasn't sure when but somewhere along the line, the tears he began to shed were real. He began to think about the short amount of time that they had been together, the dates they had gone on, the time they shared, his admittedly favorite moments with the blond. All that time, all Shizuo ever did was love him, he would literally do _anything_ to make Izaya happy. And there Izaya was, plotting to kill probably the only person who would love him so truly.

He leaned down to kiss Shizuo lightly and tenderly hush him, trying to get him to stop talking, to stop looking for Izaya so desperately. He needed to settle down if he were to live. "Calm down love..." Izaya whispered to him as he heard the distant sound of sirens approach them. "Just be quiet okay... I promise you we're going to go home..."

Shizuo nodded at him, closing his eyes again and trying to relax.

_'Home... that's where I want to go... home with Izaya... I want... to be able to love him, for as long as I can...'_ Shizuo thought to himself, as he let his body relax. Glad to let Izaya take him home as he finally drifted into a state of unconsciousness.

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_Sorry the update took so long, I haven't been very motivated, and turning a role play into a fanfic is utterly tedious(I'm literally pulling my hair out trying to get replies to fit together and flow correctly while taking things out that spoil the ending sadhfjka). But I'm bored to tears on a 6 hour flight from California to Hawaii today soooo I decided to type out some updates~!  
There's a little girl in front of me... like... freaking dancing in her seat, making it nearly impossible to type shdashdjfhsadl *pissed*  
ohgodtheplaneisgettingbumpyw e'regonnacrashandI'mgonnadiefuckfuckfuck.  
... Anyway enough of my crazy panicking and personal fears... I LOVE REVIEWS, YOU SHOULD REVIEW YEAH? IT MIGHT EVEN MOTIVATE ME TO UPDATE FASTER. _


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